Getting Started This Week | It's Fine | Week 2

Focus of the Week:

We are really good at answering "How are you?" with things like: "I'm good!" "Never better." "Living the dream." The truth is, it’s easier to say everything is fine than to have the difficult conversations. But what would it look like to have a dating or marriage relationship that truly glorifies God? A relationship where we’re willing to be honest, work through the hard things, and grow closer to one another as we grow closer to Him?

This week we will have a guiding post with scriptures for each day focused on the overall topic for the week. Reflection questions are set for the entire week to provide time to dive deeper into scripture each day.
 
Notes on the practices:

Journaling and reflection both help to slow down and be mindful of what is being read. Both are similar practices; feel free to journal reflection questions or reflect on journalling questions. These are here to be a guide, not a task. Let the Holy Spirit lead you to whatever He may want to highlight for you specifically.

Getting Started:
 
As we shift to a more intimate relationship this week, the image is still the same: the mask of “I’m fine.”

In dating and marriage, that mask can show up in two dangerous ways. Sometimes, we put on the mask together, presenting a picture to the world that says, “We’re fine,” even when things behind closed doors are far from it. Other times, we wear the mask with each other, insisting “I’m fine” while hiding our struggles, frustrations, and hurts from the person closest to us.

Both are damaging. The first isolates us as a couple, keeping others from speaking into our lives and helping us navigate difficult seasons. The second isolates us from one another, creating distance where there should be intimacy and turning what should be a partnership into two people struggling alone.

So how do we build relationships where we can take off the masks? And if we’ve already fallen into these patterns, how do we begin to find our way back to honesty, vulnerability, and unity?

Both questions come to the same answer. Remove the mask. Being open and vulnerable is definitely difficult, but it can remove barriers instead of increasing them. This is not an easy process of overcoming barriers of conflict and isolation within a relationship. There's often times when a mediator is needed just to keep the conversation on track. Being willing and open to make things better is the starting place. Removing the mask of "We're good." or "This is fine." will help dislodge the isolation within the relationship.

Keeping the mask off is just as important. It can be easy to just "go with the flow" or make a decision because the alternative would cause conflict. In the intimate relationship of marriage it is vital to be able to communicate clearly the points of frustration, tension, and stress instead of bottling it up. Your spouse may never know and keeping those things inside tend toward bitterness.

So, where are you in your more intimate relationships? Maybe you are good. You have the communication thing figured out and when difficulties arise you both come together and conquer it with no problem. Or maybe there's small conflicts when things are stressful, but overall things are good and run smoothly. Maybe you have the cold environment even those around you can see even with the mask firmly in place and you've thought more than a few times "why are we even doing this?" Friends, if you are in these places, you are not alone. Take the step to be vulnerable and remove the mask and the lie that "everything is fine," when it is not fine.

Let this be the starting point:

Ask God to help you become the spouse He wants you to be by being more like Him.

Spend time each day this week reading and rereading the passage of Scripture. Spend time in prayer as you reflect and journal about your friendships and what you might do to make them better. Join us next week as we dive into parental relationships.